You've got to love Channel Four's attempt at educating the masses. Over the last 3 days I have subjected myself to complete tosh (yet I must admit, mildly entertaining) reality TV, which I could only describe as 'mock-umentaries'. I thought I would share with you my thoughts and experiences...
Monday showed me the delights of 'Embarrassing Bodies' whereby I learnt that not washing my foofy caused nasty infections and that having bum implants and cosmetic surgery abroad was a bad idea... I endured an hour of bottom clenching medical examinations and operations which would have probably caused a similarly nasty medical condition with the amount of muscular contractions in my buttocks. #anotherreasontheycallitshittingbricks
With great relief I stayed with Channel Four into a program about the REAL women behind phone sex lines... I think after showing that program there were thousands of men around the country attempting to remove their tongues with a blunt pair of scissors so that they wouldn't be able to use sex lines again... £1.80 an hour to speak to a hippocrocopig... I'm in the wrong profession.
Tuesday arrived, I was met with no surprises, apart from the lack of nuptials in 'My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding'... who knew that gypsies fought on the streets and bit each other's ears off and had bear knuckle fights? Bloody hell, I'm shocked. Not really, I could have just re-watched Snatch, at least Brad Pitt is more attractive. Again I began to think that I'm in the wrong profession... There were all these gypsy women, tanned, big flamboyant clothing who have the time (and a babysitter) to go out and get lashed. Daddy must have sold a lot of lucky charms to fund that kind of extravagance.
And then... for the finale, Wednesday brought me my favourite... One Born Every Minute. Makes me wonder about the 'cross-section' of society that is 'attempted' to be portrayed through these sorts of programmes... for example, every week there is a well-to-do couple and a chav couple whose father may or may not be present at the time of the birth due to prison sentences, restraining orders, etc... considering it's supposed to show 'normal' people living and having babies in Leeds, does this mean that 50% of those who give birth in Leeds are either chavs or have criminal fathers? This would also suggest that 50% of Leeds is crime ridden chavdom... Then again, I guess normal' people aren't good TV.
In conclusion I guess I learnt that being a pregnant gypsy who talks dirty on the phone (no need for that nasty cosmetic surgery then) is a great way to get rich quick. Thanks Channel Four!
Monday showed me the delights of 'Embarrassing Bodies' whereby I learnt that not washing my foofy caused nasty infections and that having bum implants and cosmetic surgery abroad was a bad idea... I endured an hour of bottom clenching medical examinations and operations which would have probably caused a similarly nasty medical condition with the amount of muscular contractions in my buttocks. #anotherreasontheycallitshittingbricks
With great relief I stayed with Channel Four into a program about the REAL women behind phone sex lines... I think after showing that program there were thousands of men around the country attempting to remove their tongues with a blunt pair of scissors so that they wouldn't be able to use sex lines again... £1.80 an hour to speak to a hippocrocopig... I'm in the wrong profession.
Tuesday arrived, I was met with no surprises, apart from the lack of nuptials in 'My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding'... who knew that gypsies fought on the streets and bit each other's ears off and had bear knuckle fights? Bloody hell, I'm shocked. Not really, I could have just re-watched Snatch, at least Brad Pitt is more attractive. Again I began to think that I'm in the wrong profession... There were all these gypsy women, tanned, big flamboyant clothing who have the time (and a babysitter) to go out and get lashed. Daddy must have sold a lot of lucky charms to fund that kind of extravagance.
And then... for the finale, Wednesday brought me my favourite... One Born Every Minute. Makes me wonder about the 'cross-section' of society that is 'attempted' to be portrayed through these sorts of programmes... for example, every week there is a well-to-do couple and a chav couple whose father may or may not be present at the time of the birth due to prison sentences, restraining orders, etc... considering it's supposed to show 'normal' people living and having babies in Leeds, does this mean that 50% of those who give birth in Leeds are either chavs or have criminal fathers? This would also suggest that 50% of Leeds is crime ridden chavdom... Then again, I guess normal' people aren't good TV.
(About the Father) "He's a good lad, he just ends up in prison a lot" Great addition to the Pushchair Brigade.
In conclusion I guess I learnt that being a pregnant gypsy who talks dirty on the phone (no need for that nasty cosmetic surgery then) is a great way to get rich quick. Thanks Channel Four!
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