THAT tupperware mountain can wait...

Having dropped the kid off at school, I gingerly began to plan my day.  An amass of 'permajobs' aka uni work, job applications etc loomed ahead however I made the decision that housework came first with the idea of 'clean environment, clean mind'.

As a working mum and full time student I'm constantly threatened by the 'mother's guilt' attributed (god forbid) having responsibilities outside of the home.  Yes, my house is cluttered.  Yes, there is a constant pile of washing up to be done.  Yes, my coffee table is littered with research papers, coffee mugs and post-it notes.  Yes, that box in the corner of my living room that contains pieces of paper and exercise books is important.  No... it doesn't bother me.

Judging glances often get thrown in my direction; my mummy friends are annoyed because I never have time to see them, my son's sleeping patterns are thrown in my face, and a casual scroll through Facebook is a constant reminder that other mums are being better at being 'mums' than me.

So this morning I cleaned.  And I had THAT realisation as my house began to gleam;

... If I didn't have all this going on... things would be... easy?...

My house would have a 'permasparkle' rather than being weighed down by the 'permajobs', THAT tupperware mountain that falls out of my cupboard every time I open it for a glass would be... organised? There would be no constant pile of washing up... I could sell some of my clutter! I could be a yummy mummy and go to the gym every day when he's in preschool! I could take my son to mummies groups and discuss his sleeping patterns and maybe they could suggest some solutions to me! Dear lord! Things could be normal?!

But I don't want normality.  I want something extraordinary.  The hit we take now as a family will shape our future.  I wouldn't change this in exchange for all the mountains of tupperware in the world.

To those who judge me and other mothers who have responsibilities outside the home - our kids ARE our priority.  We are doing what is best for our family circumstances to achieve the best lifestyle for our children.

I want to be that mum who excels; I want my son to be able to experience the world as I have.  I want him to see that his mother was something awesome - juggling work and study whilst showing him that love that I know is no different from any other mum.  That mum who kicks ass... That mum who never got to the bottom of that washing up...

That mum who always had that mountain of tupperware in that cupboard next to the sink.